I think my joy's off.

I've been thinking a lot this weekend about my findingjoyineveryday assignment. And I think I'm doing it wrong.

I decided yesterday that joy is more than just the happy things that happened in a day. It's more than just the things that were bearable, fun, and good memories. I say this because on Friday, I had a hard time thinking of a joy for my list. (Not that it was like a horrible, depressing day...it's just that nothing seemed worthy of the title joyful). So what do you do on days like that?

Then yesterday, Cody and I had a long talk with the folks about money...jobs...debt...advice. We are having to take responsibility for things we didn't know we did and we have been taking responsibilty for things we didn't have to. And it was hard and a little discouraging. But Cody and I had to remind each other last night that the situation in not the end-all story of how our lives go...quite the contrary actually. We had to remind each other that current trails produce in us the peserverence for our faith, which produces hope. And hope never disappoints us.

That sounds familiar.

If we ever hope to do some type of ministry full-time...whether that looks like church-planting or humanitarian/aid work or working at some non-profit or writing books or making movies...we don't have a prayer in the world to do it if our faith is not robust and unwavering. Sometimes the world is just a big cesspool and seeing just a fraction of the terrible things that happen would cause anyone to doubt God and His ways. But continuously allowing His promises and His hope...that our circumstances do not dictate our joy, that God wants to restore all things through us, that we live for more than what the rest of the world may life for...it makes the trial seem much smaller, much more manageable, and I even find in me a shred of thankfulness for it. It's proof God wants to teach us that life is good and useful. And He wants to teach us how to do the things He calls us to or the things we long to do in our hearts.

It's almost like He's saying...so you and Cody have some big plans, eh? Well, you're going to need some serious training for that...

I also read today that worship is praying without asking for anything. Something I feel like I did last night and I need to do way more often. If I'm constantly asking for things, I'm clearly focused on what I do not have rather than how holy and in-control God is now and how He is shaping me and gifting me in the present.

That's a much deeper, more satisfying joy than eating an excellent sandwich at lunch or even a beautiful sunny day. :)

I have told all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakeable and assured, deeply at peace. In this world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I have overcome the world...   john 16:33

So let's try this again:

SATURDAY'S JOY: Realizing that the very trials I feel are keeping us from our dreams could very well be preparing us for them and even bigger and better things. Praying with Cody last night that our hearts would change to focus on that and not all that we feel we may be missing. Finally being excited, in a changed-heart kind of way, about living into where we're at now...our jobs, our family, our friends, our home...so that we can learn as much as we can. There will still be down days. But I think this truth might stick this time. Sometimes I just need a little reminder.

Now, I felt weird doing my own glamour shots in my bedroom. But here's a couple pics of the haircut...